July 10, 2013
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Magnolias or Childhood Macabre
As a child my first encounter with human death was at the age of eight attending my grandfather’s funeral. We lived on a farm at the time and seeing the death of animals of all sorts was already common even for a boy of my age. But now experiencing the thoughts all people have of death of a close family member, this was the first personal relationship I had lost and my mind was filled with all sorts of thoughts. And it was the first that I remember thinking of human death and realizing that someday I may experience it. Even at that age I was skeptical of the traditional explanations of heaven that my mother was telling me. Welcome to a bit of my childhood macabre and a night I spent peering from underneath my blankets and even then making up words for things I was trying to understand.
There are none
None that burn the candle or stir the last dimming coals
that haven’t listened for that noise or peered into the night shadows
listening for that hum and watching for the fleeting movement in the night
while holding breath and staring deeply with squint eyes
hoping it is not there but still anxious to have but a glimpse
as if seeing only briefly would make it less.
Beware the Doombroser.
One that no one has seen but all have felt.
Beware your wish to see that shadow or hear that hum.
For last visions seen and last breaths taken may follow.
From under the protection of blankets we watch and listen
Minding mother’s words of just asleep and gone to heaven
And remembering the smell of the scent of magnolias.DSS
Comments (7)
I was 8 when my great grandmother died. It did leave a lasting impression too. I do love the poem – very evocative of the event…
A very impressionable age and a child is learning so much then anyway and it leaves very deep memories.
it’s the scent of mimosas for me…not orange juice and champagne but the tree…your lovely poem reminded me of Jack Kerouac.
I think I was about the same age when losing my grandmother & grandfather. They passed a year apart from each other. I do remember that I looked at the world from new eyes after that as experience take us to new levels of understanding and also puts us into the game of time watching and wondering what we still don’t know. (pats heart, and points to you)
@mlbncsga - Thank you for the rec! I’m glad you liked it. The nose can send me back in time faster than anything. Thanks for stopping by!
@Jaynebug - Both the same year, that would be such an impact on a family. I can only imagine how it would affect a child. I guess it makes us older than our years, a little of our childhood is robbed from us with each experience.
@Iamsurrounded - Step stones of life.