August 18, 2013

• Any Regrets?

         I have finally reached an age when I can look back at events of my life and weigh whether my experiences have been worth the effort, were positive and worthy of remembering or repeating. Someday, I may be unable to perform the tasks and interests that I used to. Will I be able to continue flying? Will I be able to drive a car, motorcycle or even my lawnmower? Have I done anything that I regret or anything I wouldn't do over again?
         Long ago in my twenties, I quit picking up hay bales and roof shingling. My doctor actually told me a few years ago that anyone over 50 years old should not be shoveling the snow from his driveway, not just me but anyone! Not that I'm in poor health but at over 50 or 60, you just don't know what piece of necessary body equipment might fail you under heavy physical exertion. For a few years ages ago, I climbed power and telephone poles, not anymore. I realized my physical limitations in those areas even without a doctor's advice. That is just good judgment.
         I have given up smoking, arm wrestling and platform diving. I'm a lightweight when it comes to drinking also. But I've also given up things that might be good for me, like exercise, running regularly and I will probably never learn to play the piano but I do eat more spinach and broccoli and stewed tomatoes. All vegetables that I couldn't stand when I was in my teens and twenties. So some of my changes in habit have been a positive thing and some a negative.
         When I was 25, I climbed communications towers, water towers and installed antennas on high courthouse domes. I had no insurance, was paid very little and all while being responsible for a wife and two children. That may have been poor judgment but I do not regret those times. If those experiences had ended poorly and if I was still alive, I would probably have regrets. I remember all of those experiences fondly but I probably wouldn't do them all over again under the same circumstances even if I felt I was in  physical shape enough to do them safely.
         In my 30's and 40's I rekindled my interest in flying. I finished my flight instruction and earned my private pilot's license. I flew cross county flights in older single engine aircraft alone for no particular reason, just for the joy of it. I had a couple emergency landings that concluded calmly and successfully. I copiloted while dumping skydivers out of twin engine aircraft from 15,000 feet. All while being physically able and all done safely. Although I understand if others might think that dumping 15 people out of a perfectly good aircraft at that altitude was anything that you could call safe. But you can weigh the pros and cons and decide on plans that make otherwise dangerous things safe. I would do and probably will do all of those things over again at the next opportunity and in a heart beat. Yes, now at my age, it is all about the heart beat.
         These days at work, I'm in a position to watch younger people do what I used to do and to talk to them over the phone helping them do those things. My career is on a different level and I can see the end. So in a few years from now, and I am unable to do the things that I once loved to do, will I have any regrets? Hell, I'm not sure that I will have any regrets about things I didn't like to do. When I'm sitting out on the front porch in the old rocking chair with my legs covered by an old quilt and drool running down my chin, my face may look expressionless but look more deeply into my eyes, I'm betting the only regrets you will be able to see in there will be my regrets of the things that I didn't try to do. Can we ask for anything better?

  Such is the life of John

             

  • 10:19 pm
  • 11 Comments